When Life Stops

Recap: the last few posts came from the Meghan/Harry interview and highlighted what it is like for some people when we all experience our Neptune transit in square formation to our natal Neptune.

There are examples from personal experience (excerpt from Mind the Gap, my Neptune save the world book) and reference to Esther Hicks who began her career with Abraham at exactly that time. And Meghan with her current Neptune square which seems to be idealizing around personal experiences of fairy tale endings but cluttered with wicked witches. Neptune represents an energy which thinks and feels it can do and be anything. We see no limits to how and where we hope to go which is why this time in our life has attracted the tag of ‘midlife crisis’: some people apparently do what others think is crazy. It feels like the beginning of a new life, we feel we are old enough now to know exactly what we are doing and the idea seems and feels very good. Others who have a normal balance of earth and sensible values in their nature may find this time very confusing so they just have to wait till it’s over. It all depends on the dynamics inherent in us and shown in our birth map, our intellect and imagination.

Also going on around this time is our Uranus opposite Uranus transit which adds uniqueness and the urge to dare to do it (to do and be whatever it is). As well as the Pluto square Pluto transit which in its outplaying demonstrates the change going on in us and is reflected in what we do. For information on any of these changes we can look at the story behind each of the planets in the particular signs and the particular houses in which they reside. These three play out sometimes all at the same time, more usually over about 3 or 4 years from age 38 – 44ish. We can be precise about it, but it is different for each person, hence the vagueness. Just check the birth chart or the Ephemeris for personal data, each person’s Neptune story is different etc..

Harry’s major transits are coming later and in a different order: his Pluto square at the end of March 2023 then Neptune in March 2024 and Uranus not till May 2028.

I looked at Prince William’s chart which pleasantly surprised me as it is so good for someone who will make a positive impact as a king one day. William was born on the day of a solar eclipse which sits nicely on the Descendant at 0 degrees of Cancer, the longest day of the year, and 3 degrees away from the Gemini/Sagittarius horizon. Like Harry and the Queen, he too has the midheaven in Scorpio but with the kingly Jupiter right on the top of the chart in Scorpio, and Mars, Saturn, Pluto all in Libra. Saturn is the common energy for all three as well as the 9th house placements. Pluto square Pluto entered his life 2 years ago in the first house of his chart and has one more pass to make this year before it is complete.Neptune square his natal Neptune, which is so sensitively placed right on his Ascendant, arrives next year, so we will have to watch that in motion. It will resonate strongly with Jupiter as in the birth chart it is in the sign belonging to Jupiter, which is Sagittarius. And the Uranus opposition has to oppose an interesting conjunction of Venus (ruler of the 9th) with Chiron before it begins in 2025. But like his brother, Venus rules his 9th house cusp. So his big wake-up comes after the big change and the idealizing. I have written about Meghan and Harry a couple of posts ago in Star Crossed Lovers and Saving the World. Harry’s  9th house ruler, Venus is also on the 9th house cusp: the 9th is important as it gives information about what we believe in, what directs our choices in life. So does the position of Jupiter.

Alan Watts got in on the act because he is always so relevant and I’ve been revisiting it all lately. The depth and breadth of his knowledge is astounding and he is both fluent and funny. Also, much of his material is recorded so it makes easy listening when out walking. He was a philosopher and was largely responsible for introducing the west to practices like Yoga and the theory of Buddhism and Zen – all in a very chatty way. If he had felt the need to channel, I’m sure the results would have been amazing. Yet, he really did not need to as he was able to round up the all the relevant answers himself during the course of his life. He understands the clarity and essential nature of opposites: if there is life then there must also be no-life for a while. He explains how. Esther, on the other hand, channels so well because she is so empty – she has said as much. And she has not been a person of academia, her material is of a different reach and pitch. Plus she is primarily a business person.

But none of the above is as much on my mind at present as matters relating to what the future looks like for older people. We tend not to think about this till we hit the wall. This is when the horizon stops moving away from us. Slap-bang we arrive at a distance of however far it seems to be till you will get there. Maybe 10 years, or even 20 if you feel lucky. It depends on the personal chart.

From the start of 2017 Pluto began to transit over a large and unpleasant grand cross in my chart. Or you can call it a T-square (if you use equal houses) with the apex on the IC. On this apex sits Saturn conjunct-Neptune (they do not play nicely together) and they are being squared by an opposition of Uranus and Mars. Mars is in Capricorn in the 6th house (health, day to day routines) and the overall degrees go from 18-22. So my life has been through the wringer since 2017 and I am not going to bore you with details, but one of the miserable changes that astounded me – it happened in slow-motion – was to invisibly morph, without my permission, into an old person. It does not seem to happen until you realise that you are being treated like an old person. Yes, exactly. This change and exchange of life is every bit as hard as the teenager crisis and the midlife crisis. When you become aware of the wall replacing the usual expectation-al future you might have to rush home to look in the mirror.

The main feature is that there is no longer a thing to aim for, nothing to create or to build except the best ending you can dream up for which, of course we do not know the due-date – so when do we start with the preparations? Sounds grim, I know but we tuck this piece of mortal inevitability away our whole life until it is no longer feasible or possible. Then plans of a very macabre sort become important, especially if you are the independent type with no-one around who will be with you, or who you might want with you.

I was startled by this heavy-duty complicity of society. In 1990 I had decided to live with someone 29 years older as I never have seen a person as a number. It was the fact that we knew each other so well and wanted to know more that was important. This is perhaps why I was not ready for this change to strike me in the way it has. But western society in general is not interested in seniors. You just evolve into an old person who will degrade until you draw your last breath. Pretty boring for everyone else. But I accompanied both parents as well as my partner on a daily basis between 1996 and 2009 – and there are stored images.

I have been type-cast. I know the role to play due to how I seem to interact with other people, which is due to how they interact with me. Worse still, as a professional astrologer, I can see it all playing out, up to a point.

I have another few weeks of torment until my Chiron square Chiron begins to separate, as well as Uranus square the Asc/Desc axis which they happen to be playing as a duet right now. It started last May. Once mid-April arrives I will begin to focus in a different way. So perhaps it is the gaps in between things which stick out as having the best potential, giving ‘Mind the Gap’ a prophetic title as well as a borrowing from ‘A Course in Miracles’. It is essential to discover what this gap means.

So, all the young folk in their forties who think they have lost or found the ultimate, the Holy Grail, believe it or not they are not interesting to those of us for whom the horizon now beckons with a scythe in one hand. I must decide whether to be accepting of my role, cast at birth and shored up by the tribe, just as William is accepting of his role, if slightly more appealing probably. Or whether to try to run away from it all like Harry, because he can. There are all sorts of ways to run away, and ways to return when you wake up again.

Did you see the movie, Euphoria (2017)? Perhaps we have to build onto our beliefs by making the ‘end of life’ cheerful and significant…. significant at least. I don’t mind the transition part, it is the years and months of pain and living-decomposition that give me pause.

O astrologer, thou didn’t see this one coming. Hahaha…

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