I seem to have manifested a pain in my hip which is not there. The interesting part is that the doctor of musco-skeletal matters says that he sees this type of pain quite a lot. He said that even if he injected pain relief medicine into what seems to be the place nearest the source of the pain it would not disappear immediately as the brain gets used to receiving signals of pain. He used the example of an amputee feeling pain in the missing limb. X-rays, CT scans and MRIs have revealed nothing solid about my pain yet it is intense.
I have long been a follower of the metaphysical causes of physical illness and I am ready to agree about the cause of this pain in my butt; but, I did not expect a mainstream professional to get as close as he came to saying that the depression I reported to my doctor in the month before the pain was most likely to be the causal factor.
So I have depression in my left buttock which feels like toothache; the sort of toothache that comes with having an abscess.
I was wondering what Abraham-Hicks would say. Would they say ‘Nice work manifesting’? And ‘…..if you can manifest your sadness so well you can also manifest your joy’? Healers sometimes carry a sort of ruthlessness which is connected with the role-play of healer-patient: in order for someone to be sick there has to be someone who is well, and well people feel only their wellness which is compounded every time they meet a new patient who needs their apparent ability to heal. In the month before my pain arrived I told my doctor that my sadness was triggered by the loss of a loved one and he said quite casually and dismissively: ‘everyone dies’.
Ironic that he would be the one pointing this out to me as I am the one who spends the best part of each day communing with spirit. But I wondered if he would say the same words to his wife if one of his children were to die. I have also sought to comfort people who have suffered a loss, with the knowledge that their loved one lives on in spirit, missing the point entirely that it is simply the absence, the loss itself which is hard to bear. There can be nothing to fill that empty space so we use the word ‘grieve’ which means loving someone who is not there. The deal is that we have to re-shape ourselves: both the amputee and the person in grief. We have to become a different version of who we were. It is continuing to live in time and in place which provides the new canvas for the new creation.
We personally become invested in the other person because they carry a part of us which we give them. They reflect back to us a positive aspect of who we are, so the loss when they go is felt as deeply as the quality and quantity of that which we have given. Simple maths.
And this is the part where I go all mopy and say, ‘but it was the last person in my life left to love’, although it is true that I carry love for the spiritual versions of my dear departed. But is it easier or harder to cure a pain which is not there? Abraham of course recommends ‘refocus: you know what you don’t want so you know what you do want’. Not so, Abraham, not so. If I knew that I would get off my butt and do something.
Which of course I will do. Life goes on as dispassionately as ever.