Emerging from the Darkness

The other day I had a cathartic nightmare about a greater force for good stealing my backpack which contained my wallet, my reading glasses and my medication, leaving me helpless in the English town, Glastonbury which was a centre for the new age growth in spiritual awareness.

Before I went to sleep I had watched an old episode of Jesse Stone in which the quote: ‘seek and ye shall find‘ pops up. It reminded me that the title of Esther’s book, ‘Ask and it is Given’ is a direct quote from Matthew 7: 7 to which she seldom if ever pays reference. She is a modern messiah whether she realises it or not, with a brilliance of mind and a good heart. She has referred to other groups where other mediums do the same sort of thing and Abraham has assured us that they are all good, presenting  ‘All That Is’ in their different ways. I recall Esther saying her mother was Mormon. Her birth chart reflects a three planet conjunction in Leo in the 10th house of ‘the mother’.

So my dream was reminding me not to become carried away.

The dream was vivid. In it I knew that I was not dreaming, that what was happening was real and in real time. I realised that the worst thing that could possibly happen had happened. There was no one to call. There were no cars for hire or taxis nor buses. Everyone was somehow connected to a greater force which I, as an outsider, was not tuned into. I was a seeker who had lost everything I had accrued.

As I carried on with the day I saw the meaning in more focus and with greater clarity and began to feel better. I had been impressed and troubled with Abraham and Esther for years and this is why: if you jump into the larger group, whoever they are, and however well-meaning, you lose yourself, who you have become as an individual, because it is given up to the larger whole and your power is diluted. This reflects the Leo-Aquarius opposition which is primary and dominant in Esther’s chart, and about which I have already written a great deal. Those two signs among other themes reflect the master/servant archetype.

It is not necessary to throw all groups out the window, but many people fall into the honey trap and give away too much of themselves in the hope that great happiness will follow them around for the rest of their lives. If this were so, the ancient and modern practice of natal astrology would not exist for it shows the pattern of so called ‘contrast’ from the moment we take our first breath to the moment we take our last breath. For some, myself included, it is not a pretty picture, but I am grateful to have this map of inner me for the times when the lights are turned out and I am alone in the world without help. It has led me back to the neutral zone where I can take independent steps to make things better for myself, and from that position I can better help others, or at least not feel dependent.

I expect to continue to listen to the seminars as I walk in nature, taking from them little bits here and there. Discernment is good for, as with everything the Word Esther spreads is a mixture of all shades of the pallet.

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